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May 31, 2003
yesterday was Harin's birthday... happy b-day Harin Chan. !! lol yea man. it was pretty coo.. but yea.. hm. yesterday i went to da movies.. kickin it wit da folks.. cuz like.. i didnt go to skoo yesterday cuz i was on a feildtrip up in frisko... it was pretty friggin funn.. !! haha. went to eat at dis french resturant.. holla' at sum french breezeys.. haha. i kicked it mainly wit john, jeremy, harris, n borge da whole time.. it was hellla muh fuckin fun when we went to da metreon .. n, n.. n .. like yea!! haha, cool movie !! the italian job..hella pimped. go see it! n den i accidently pulled dis fire alarm thing dat was all up in chinatown..n it looked hella fake n junk.. but yea.. it was an accident.. :] .. after hella fire trucks came.. me n hella da ppl i was wit..we broke down da street.. hella running n shit. lol. all da way over near nike store thing,. had hella nike shit. damn friskoe is hella fuckin fun dood!! n so like,., afterwards.. we jus hung out.. me n borge took bus to bayfair.. met up wit lotta peeps.. we was sooo fuckin deep man!! haha den like..sum nigga's started tryin to talk hella shit bout me n peri..so i ended up fighting..n yea,,. hella police.. n shit.. i ended up fighting 2 guys n shit.. noone else helped me.. no one jumped in to fuckin help.. but is all good..,. i handled mah shit. ,=) . haha. i thot i got wooped tho.. buh ppls was givin me props n shit. haha. but yea. i had alotta fun at harin's party.. lol mah nigga john was on one fa realls.. haha!! when mah nigga gets fucked up.. he gets FUCKED UPp! haha.. den me n duy went half n half on a pill... it was kinda hard findin sumwhun who would take it wit me..cuz all deez fuckers soo worried bout ooh.. ":u get holes n yer brain.. bla bla.." im lyk..dawg.. haha shutttup.. me n duy was on one too.. i was hella dancing..duy's mah fuckin buddy !! haha. hella coo. imma have to fight nick 1 on 1 tho... fck. sigh..e .. why im always in some shit?. iono.. sooo yea.. i had a nice long ass talk wit laura .. n issy n stuff.. n like. we talked about priscilla mostly.. and.. i jus was tryin to tell dem dat u kno.. i hella got feelins for priscilla still.. n dey dont want me to.. cuz dey aint really all dat coo wit her. but yea. i was hella defending priscilla haha. so after harin's party.. i walked to wait for priscilla over near 7-11 near white mike's house.. after i met up wit her.. n den we walked to kick it at white mikes. peri came.. n den around 2 i walked priscilla to her house.. n den i walked my ass all da way home from green hous.. i was still pretty drunk n rollin .. n i got hella tired when i hit near jack in da crack on marina.. man. i need a car. ,=/ bLeh.. n so yea.. got home around 4:30 am. drank hella watter.. den went to bed. i was pretty sober when i got home.. feelin hella good n shit =) damn,. well today imma go to da movies to watch finding nemo with chuck.. hopefully ill see vivan there..cuz i was sposed to go to da movies wit her one day.. but i never got a chance to tal to her. o well. but yea. ill put more stuff up later. payce.. oo yea. n today is my dad's bday.. haha on tuesday was my step mom's bday... and on june 7th is my lil brother's bday... god damn gemini's haha. but yea. Happy B-day daddy. lol cheq bac 4 more laytaR.. TekBeetz out.. May 27, 2003 i been feelin like hella bad lately.. mostly because i think im beginning to be depressed.. or somethin man. i jus dont kno wat to do anymore... i know for a fact dat she dont want me.. but i still keep on trying.. FUCK im hella frustrated that she's treating me like dis.. n she don understand what im feelin like.. n all she can say is .. "u kept choosing her over me..." and den she gets mad when i wanna be alone to think or somethin.. >.< gah .. damn. i never thot i would be feeling for her like this again... fuck, im hella sprung over her n shit! lol. sigh.. i jus feel like doin hella crazy shit when i think about the whole situation.. like , wanna kill my self or sumdin.. ,=/cuz i know the truth n i cant accept it.. its too hard to accept that she never gunna love me like i love her, and that we never gunna be together.. ever. eventually imma get over it if i don think about it.. i guess.. i dont really want to.. .. buh ima have to. damn priscilla. im hella goin crazy thinkin about u.. i hella don wanna let you go. -_- blah, well on a lighter note.. dis friday is da farewell dance at sLhs .. n i gotta pill.. ,=D haha. but yea. gunna be fun fun.. dis whole weekend's been "aight" heh. but yea. cheq bac for more laytar.. ,=P May 25, 2003 damn, ever since like.. tuesday.. when we helped brandon clean out his garrage for so he can move back in.. i been gettin fucked up!! lol, roasted lyk a fuckin sirloine steak n shit.. fuuuck. nigga been blazed lyk fuck n gone off dat bottle of mD 20/20 lol holler at a baller ;] .. kae so, tuesday i drank.. wednesday i went to borge's pool party..went bac to chucks.. blazed.. den went back hella ripped. den thursday i blazed wit peri chuck danny `nd raymond .. got hella stoned.. den i went home.. den yesterday we blazed again.. got a dubb sack ..and it was good ... hehe `xD .. we blazed yesterday..and went on hella journeys n shit.. fuckin walking hella far n junk. first from cherry grove all da way to st. felicitis church for da confirmation thing.. then from st. felicitis .. all da way to chival's house.. den from chival's house..all da way to bayfair movies.. den yea.. it was a fuckin coo strike tho man.. i was outs... lol, but we blazed n it was good.. ,=D den after dat.. i jus went home.. was hella stoned so i went to sleep.. haha sleeping when yer high is hekka fun..cuz u hav weird dreams n stuff.. imma stop smoking tho..cuz yea.. kinda makin me sloww... i kept on forgeting what i was talkin bout n shit lol.. hehehe. welp. cheq bac 4 more laytar.. payce May 19, 2003 today is charles birthday,... happy b day shuckie.. yesterday we celebrated his birthday at thrasher park with his family... me and peri was there.. we jus chilled .. sat around and talked.. went to davis plaza.. bought sum MD 20/20 .. drank it.. den charles armwrestled some random white guy..and lost... twice.. lol he betted a dollar on it..and gyea..den da white guy pulled out some absolut vodka.. and said 1 dollar per shot. haha charles took 2 shots.. da first one was free..and gyea.. umm, den we went to da movies to meet up wit priscilla. .. she got us in matrix for free.. thanks to her friend ben. yea.. it was my third time seing it so i was pretty bored.. charles was hekka fucked up.. peri was pretty perked. lol he got a new nick name thanks to sabrina and one of charles friends of da family who was at da bbq. lol. its "perkin perion" haha. yea.. funny stuff.. so anyways, i got priscilla mad at me becuz she was thinkin i was mad.. i was KINDA mad.. becuz like.. yea.. she know's i still like her or whatever. and yea, she kept on being all worried about charles and peri like dey never been drunk before..and shit. and i was jus getin kinda annoyed dat she was payin more attention to then then me.. -_- i rilly jus wanted to spend time wit her alone tho..and she jus kept on being around them and i jus got pissed and said fuck it. i didnt wanna be there no more so i left.. but i felt kinda bad for leaving her like that cuz i could tell that she really wanted me to stay.. or thats what it seemed like. but anyways, i jus left to go home on the bus. i been thinking bout things lately.. mainly about all of my so called friends.. and who i should really trust and stuff.. cuz iono, im jus hella pushing people away from me now a'days.. but i dont really wanna be alone.. its just that i feel like hella people are just fake. and i hate dat shit. i jus want someone who i kno is real.. eh yall dont know what i mean but oh well. the only 2 people i think i can really trust.. is chuck and charles.. i known them both for hella long and i kno dey got my back for anything dat goes down.. das why i trust em. yea and im down to do tha same for them too. yup yup .. original m3c mafia. hmm.. but shit. i also feel like, now that i been single for hella long.. im lookin at shit hella more differently.. thinkin bout da future more..and what i should do wit my life.. not just worrying about girls and relationships and stuff.. but i aint gonna lie.. i do want a gur.. but not just any gurl.. its hella hard now. cuz i see how people really are.. and i jus need a gur who is truthful and dont be dissin me all da time and shit.. like priscilla.. and i also want a gur who i can relate to.. and who is more my age.. das why im thinkin about just stop messin wit vivan. and stop talkin to priscilla but its hella hard. every time i say imma stop talkin to her.. she calls me... (priscilla) and i cant help but pic up tha fone .. hoping dat shit will not end up in an argument.. but fuck. it always does.. -_- iono when to say "thats enough" and just leave it all in the past. damn, just so much to think about.. more later. out.. May 14, 2003 im in skoo rite now.. damn, i dunno about lady any more man.. ,=/ ..finding out some stuff .. but i wanna talk to her about it first.. >.< why do it gotta be like dis tho..? ok, da thing is.. someone told me dat after prom.. wel not jus some one.. one of her bes friends.. told me dat after prom..when i droped her off at da hotel, her and tequan had sumthin goin on in one of da rooms.. but i was lyk.. o well, i mean, she aint my gurl so . i didnt realy mind. but when i talked to her about it.. when i asked lady wut went down at a hotel.. all she said was dat her and gianni went to da room en went to sleep.. iono da whole truth so i aint gunna speak on dat.. but yesterday when she came to skoo, she had all deeze hickies on her neck en stuff.. but im lyk.. prom was on friday.. why is it still there? wat else has she been doing?!?! so im lyk all kinda confused en shit rite now.. but is coo tho. but dis mornin i saw someone who imma keep der name outta dis.. i ;told him dat i mite wanna try to get wit lady..but he told me.. "mike don say shit. but 2 days ago i fucked lady.." im lyk... ,=*[ it was just dat sinking feeling in my stomach dat i just couldnt beleive it.. i thot she liked me.. dood, so im lyk.. man wtf!! why u gunna do dat shit for? and you gotta gF already.. but he was lyk.. ill tell u more later..cuz i was late for skoo.. damn, things is jus soo fucked up man. i mean.. really. i don even kno wat to do.. , but da thing is dat i don wanna jus rush rite into dat..and start makin moves on her..cuhz i lik her for more then that.. damn, but even if we do get together.. iono if imma be able to be da kinda guy she wants or needs.. cuhz i wanna respect her and make her feel lyk she's worth more then tha world.. dis shit mite sound crazy buh i be for her wat none of dem otha guys she been with were. bLeh.. damn, imma sucka for females tho.. i gotta admit dat myself.. iono why i always fall head over heels for da gurls who aint rite for me.. sigh. jus hope thins work out for the best.. May 12, 2003 gaaaah!! .. im feelin hella good because of prom.!! i miss my date!! gaah! Lady.. i had da time of my life!! and u made my night one to remember.. jus wish i could relive it over and over again.. forever.. sigh. but its over now.. all i got for da memories is da pix and da thoughts of us havin fun!! omgosh. i don wanna start cryin =*] lol, happy moments..!! May 10, 2003 yesss!! yesterday was da senior prom thingie!! 5.9.03 good shit good shit! it was hella crazy man. i went to school yesterday..couldnt wait till my classes was done so i could leave.. but den when i left..i had to wait even longer untill da time came for us to go. sooo i ended up kickin it wit marcus and shit.. we was doin a bunch of "errands" lol .. went wit him to his house after 2nd block.. his mom had rented him a Mitsubishi Lancer for da prom.. lol he was hella juiced!! i would be too!! whOo hOO!! it was coo man. so den we went to go pick up some film from da store.. took a couple of pix.. den we went to go get some weed for marcus from one of his patna's.. bounced to seven elleven.. got a berrie's blunt wrap.. went to chucks house.. rolled 2 blunts.. looked at chucks suit, talked en shit.. den we bounced over to Nhi chau's house... looked at da corsage she made for danny maa!! it was coo.. so i was lyk.. aye cuz! mak me whun too! hahha, since she works at da flower shop en shit.. she made it for free fo us.. so DENNNNN ... after nhi's house.. chuck came over... and marcus drove me and him and nhi.. we went to charle's house.. marcus en nhi left.. to iono where... den me en chuck walked bac to my house cuhz no one was home at charles's. me en chuck was kickin it at my house.. i showed him sum pictures en shit.. we went on da computer bla bla bla... let hiim borrow borge's bike to get home.. den my mom came.. gave me da keys to da benz.. by dat time i was dressed en shit..ready to go..around 5pm... lol, so i drove over to charle's house again.. but dey still wasnt dere.. so i went to buy danny a disposable camera from walmart for lyk.. almost 8 bukz en shit.. lol den me and marcus and danny en charles took sum pix outside with our cars en shit.. haha hella funn! i was soooo exited.. we was all dressed en shit.. so then we drove to da flower shop.... and i went to get my grill shinned... dey went to see wussup wit da corsage's.. i met dem bac there.. cuhz nhi couldnt make it.. soo we jus drove to vinessa's house.. when we got to vinessa's house.. it was like 6 pm.. and they was just starting to do their hair.. haha,. i was lyk..wtf i thot we was finna bounce at six.. haha, but it was aight..cuhz i had forgot da corsage enyways.. so i was lyk.. u kno wat.. ill brb,.,.. and i left for lyk an hour.. went to get a corsage.. nhi chau made it for me.. it was hella nice.. thank youuu nhiii!! yess!! so THENNNN .. went bac to vinessa's.. it was lyk.. 7pm den.. and they STILLL aint ready foo!! lol.. haha i swear mann.. blac ppl. never on time for anything.. hahah.,. jk. but by time we got ready to leave.. it was lyk 9:30 already..,. so i drove with my date Lady, and we went to friskoe.. lol da streets in san francisco man i swear.. soooo confusing.. haha, hella hard jus to find parkingg... but it was coo, so denn.. we got there around 10.. cuz we was smashin on da freeway. lol!! so fun so fun... when we first got there.. i spent lyk.. da first few songs or whatever jus sayin wussup to ppl.. lol i was hella exited to see dem en shit.. it was hella coo. it was at this old federal building wit deez big ass pillers en shit in da front.. big ass hall.. had sum snacks en shit.. soda's water.. all dat.. tables en shit.. upstairs balcony en stuff.. hella nice!! fuckin marble floor en errythang!! lol,erry whun said i looked hella nice en junk.. bla bla.. haha danny ma had on sum stunnaz lol.. lookin lyk Neo en shit.. from da matrix! lol.. i took a nice pix of dat lil kid.. haha, i was hella glad to see all my friends dere en shit tho..!! it was a hella fun nite.. so yea, i was dancing en shit.. bla bla.. when it was over.. i drove wit danny and lady bac to san leandro.. first we went to da denny's over near marina.. where chuck and dem was at.. but den vinessa said dat erry whun was over at da other denny's so dey wanted to go over dere.. so we cut out from da marina denny's and went to da one close to bayfair.. on our way dere, we saw sum nigga dat crashed into a pole over by kmart and shit, we was lyk...wtf..?!!?! hope no one got hurt.. dere wasnt even anyone there.. lol i was kinda confused cuhz i thot dat dere was sposed to be "every one" here.. lol, but more ppl was at da marina denny's den this one.. lol. but yea.. it was coo, it was like nine of us total.. riding in three cars.. alex bates, his date.. taquan .. or however u spell it.. melvin, gianni.. bobby, vinessa, Lady and me.. dey was eating cuhz i wasnt hungry en shit.. so i jus sat dere untill dey was finished.. but while dey was eating.. dere was dis nigga over dere at another table sleepin and shit.. lol, and tequan called da security guard and was lyk.. "can you go tell dat man to wake up cuz i don want vinessa havin to look at his ass all slobbin en shit while she eating..." lol i was lyk.. aww hell nah. lol hella funny..cuhz da security guard actually did dat shit.. lol, but he jus fell rite bac asleep.. but den i saw dis one worker guy dat went up to him and told him he had to move to another table.. . and da worker guy turned out to be my grandpa's brother.. noel. lol i was finna say sumdin to himm.. but i was lyk.. naa.. haha erry whun was lyk, he'll prolly giv us free food en shit! lol, but yea it was coo... i didnt even fuckin know he worked there....!! so yea, after we got dun.. it was like 4am and shit.. we drove bac to vinessa's house to get sum stuff outta bobby's car cuz he couldn't drive since he was hella drunk en shit. lol but it was coo. i followed dem bac to da hotel dey had rented up in downtown oakland.. i didnt really feel like staying so i jus dropped off Lady and went home.. i gave her a hug en shit,.. and when da prom was over dey had a vase full of roses and shit.. so i took one for her and vinessa.. i gave da white rose to her.. and she was all like, happy en shit. lol. i think she is hella nice en shit... lol, too bad i never got to know her sooner and shit.. now that its the end of the school year.. dere is hella shit dat i wish i did .. that i didnt.. and there is hella shit dat i wish i didnt do..that i already did.. but o well, u learn from yer mistakes.. and u get stronger.. good shit good shit.. i got home around 5am.. my mom was all exited and shit.. talkin bout "how was it.. how was it!?!?!!?" lol, i was lyk.. yea yea, it was coo.. i was jus hella fuckin worn out en shit,. den priscilla called me .. iono why she always does dis.. she called me talkin bout.. wher u at.. who u wit.. u at home wit no friends? bla bla bla.. im lyk yea.. im at home.. no one's here.. den she all like.. aight den imma go now,.... wtf is dat?!?! damn, why she gunna call me jus to talk for lyk..10 seconds en shit.. i hella hate dat.. das da shit dat i be tellin her about dat she always fuckin do dat shit.. damn, gaaah!! i jus..... man... jus, gaaaaah!! i don even know!! mann.. i jus want her to fuckin either.. leave me alone.. or stop treating me lyk dat.. fuck.. if u gonna talk to me.. or be ma friend.. den don fuckin disrespect me lyk dat fuck.. i HATE IT when ppl do dat.. and i been trying to tell her .. but she be hella hard headed and don wanna listen man. fuc. next time she call i jus aint gonna answer.. wait.. matter of fact.. im not gunna be lyk dat.. imma give her ONE MORE CHANCE.. just one more.. im serious man, im not gonna put up with dis no mo. i jus wanna be treated rite ... naw' mean? i don wanna sound lyk a bitch or whatever.. but dats jus how i feel. and if she cant respect dat.. then o well. one more chance man.. anyways.. conclusion of da nite.. it was fuckin fun..i had fun wit my nigga marcus and danny.. wish ffarley and charles coulda went.. but iono wussup wit nick.. he had da money..and da ticket and shit.. but didnt show up.. wtf..? if he was gunna waiste money lyk dat.. he coulda gave all his shit to charles..and we coulda got him a guest bid! cuz charles hella wanted to go! .. but o well. dats all on him.. jus hope shuckie can go to sara's Jr. Prom. weLp.. cheq bac for more laytaR.. TekBeetz out.. --welp. no more chances for priscilla.. i hate dis fuckin shit man, always arguing wit her man.. hella makin me stress out over her all da time.. fuck. im not even goin to try any more.. i give up... May 05, 2003 i just cant wait!!! `x) damn, i cant beleive im changing my mind now.. at first i said i didnt wanna take a date.. but now im thinking.. it would be kinda nice if i did.... i dunno who to ask tho... and besides its like..da last week..da dance is dis friday... so much pressure... i hella wanna ask dis one gurl... but den there's dis other gurl who wants to go wit me and i told her i would think about it.. and then dere's dis other gurl dat i wanna take but i got no money ta pay fo her ticket.. but but... gaah! lol its just so ... so so... overwhelmingg!! lol but its okae.. i got my tux todae.. and gyea boYee,,!! Perry Ellis tux nyugguh! sav sheit.. den pLus imma be rollin up der wit marcus nick and danny..ma nigga chuck is goin wit shanesha!! aka my ex gur friend../ lol.. buh yea.. damn all da niggas gonna be dere! jus cant wait..!! woot wOOt.. hm.. damn, >.< .. i hella wanna take dis gur dat i been crushin on fo lyk...da past year.. but... im hella shy..i kno imma dumass, lol.. damn, but yeah.. im not gonna post no more untill friday... cuhz damn, its gunan be a big nyte!! ,=) May 04, 2003 yesterday i got kicked outta century 16 cuhz i was drunk... and i was barfin up in da bathroom, sum worker guy saw me and snitched lyk a lil bitch.. and da security said i had to bounce.. i went to bart... and lyk..went home en stuff.. got home and went str8 to bed.... didnt go to church today.. im still not feelin dat good.. l'estomac is still hurtin.. kinda.. heehee .. but yea. just umm.. iono, yea.. talk to u later or sumdin.. TekBeetz out..
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